Haiku - "Fresh 2 Death."

"FRESH 2 DEATH"

I'm fresher than you.

Obama-phone, bank loans, and

I got some hoes, too.

Things I've been going through.

Ohkay; So I've been going through a lot lately.

More than I "care to share."

But I'll share more on Monday, if I feel like it ...

Anyways!

I'mma write a haiku later. Okay.

Things that make me awesome. {Republican Top 5}

Here are the top five things that make me one awesome conservative. Don't like it? I'm sorry. You still offended? Well, I'll eat your cousin who smokes in the bathroom on Sunday services at church! LET'S SEE HOW OFFENDED YOU'LL BE THEN. I BET YOU'LL HATE ME MORE THEN.

Anyways.

Top 5 things that make me an awesome conservative

1. I believe in same-sex marriage.

I mean, ITS CONSTITUTIONAL. If you don't like it, move. We have a framework for our country. We have to stick with it!

2. I don't believe in abortion.

That means I'm cool enough to go against those crazed baby-killers. Therefore, they would love to have a piece of me, but I'm still brave! (Hey, I got the Bush family on my side. All they need to do is throw a broken beer bottle at the bloodthirsty pregnant woman. I'm safe.)

3. I believe in the 2nd amendment.

If we don't get guns, then the liberals can't kill themselves! And THEN how would the state of America be? You think its overpopulated already? Try millions of more liberals, getting all sex-happy on the White House! Disgusting, I know. But take a look in the Clinton household and you'll get used to it, I'm sure.

4. I believe that God shouldn't be the center of government.

Go to Israel & Palestine for that, they seem to know a lot about religious doctrines ruling over common sense.

AND FINALLY...

5. Marijuana shouldn't be legal.

So stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

Republican Loyalty Quiz Results

The Republican Loyalty Quiz
10 Questions to Test Your Allegiance to the GOP

Your score is 9 on a scale of 1 to 10. You are a pure, unabashed, die-hard Republican loyalist You remain fiercely dedicated to fighting the twin evils of terrorism and liberalism, and you'd walk across a field of land mines if it meant casting a deciding vote for a Republican president. In your view, there is no higher form of patriotism than defending America against the Democratic Party and every elitist, French-loving, religion-mocking, America-hating, terrorist-appeasing ideal for which it stands.

¡Mi burro sabe mas que tu!

Just thought I'd share that my donkey knows more than you.

Honestly, though? I'm just trying to learn some Spanish. Seeing as how my sister just taught me that, I figured I'd teach the world that.

MI=my

BURRO=donkey

SABE=heknows

MAS=more

QUE=than

TU=you

OHKAY???!!!

Sarcastic Haiku #2

Oh, I'm on a roll. Oh, oh, oh.

"JUNO"

Never had I thought

That underage pregnancy

Would be so damn chic.

Sarcastic Haiku #1

I decided to write a snarky haiku about something I feel passionate about.

"OBAMA"

If you don't like him,

You suffer from racism.

Seek help now, skeptic!